Sunday, June 17, 2012
You can now find the Inner Coaching blog on our new website, in our articles on how to change your life section.
Check us out there and let us know what you think.
7 Principles to Win People's Cooperation
Monday, September 06, 2010
Chris Witt believes that real leaders don't do powerpoint, and that influencing your followers is far more powerful than using authority. He outlines 7 principles to persuade others to cooperate with you, and do what you want them to do. These points are useful reminders in winning over people.
They cover making them feel understood, listening to them and not arguing. A key part of building rapport is also finding common ground with the person, which is another point that Chris makes. He says you also need to care about the person you want to influence and show them that change is possible. Timing of your request is crucial too, so finding moments of influence is key to getting your outcome.
Read the full article here.
Non verbal communication is a huge part of getting your message across, or understanding what another person is trying to tell you. This article summarises the top 10 nonverbal communication points that you need to keep in mind, when wanting to improve your communication. The key points are:
- Pay Attention to Nonverbal Signals
- Look for Incongruent Behaviors
- Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking
- Use Good Eye Contact
- Ask Questions About Nonverbal Signals
- Use Signals to Make Communication More Effective and Meaningful
- Look at Signals as a Group
- Consider the Context
- Be Aware That Signals Can be Misread
- Practice, Practice, Practice
Labels: nonverbal communicationLink
Reading takes you places
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I often ask myself, and sometimes people I meet, what the leverage point is in our country? If there was a difference that would make all the difference what would it be? What's the one thing that if we got it right, it would shift things in a positive way, it would move us forward towards more mastery and fulfilment?
I always find the replies I get fascinating. And what's even more interesting, is education comes up most often.
My next question is then what specifically in Education is our leverage point to make the difference that would make all the difference? The answers vary.
Tonight though, I got an answer not from directly asking my leverage question, but from listening to the extensive research Dr Lilli Pretorius is doing at UNISA around reading.
Her talk at the Origins Centre at Wits University was entitled "Reading: the means to a transformed mind and changed brain."
What stood out for me is how reading is a 'new' skill for humankind, in that it is only 4000 years old, and it is not a genetic or biological factor like language is. Reading is a skill that has to be learnt for the specific neural pathways required for reading to be formed. Through the process of learning to read, the brain is literally re-wired and new areas of specialisation are formed. They don't naturally form, as the connections for language do. And the more you practice reading, the more these connections are developed.
Dr Pretorius also mentioned how literacy, specifically reading, has also been shown to be the foundation of all formal education, in that writing and even numerical literacy improve as and when reading improves.
The data on how our children in South Africa are performing when it comes to reading is quite startling. In one study of Grade 4 and 5's, 78% of the learners did not meet minimum standards. In another international study, South Africa came 8th out of 14 countries in terms of literacy scores. These kinds of results are an indictment of our education system- not of our children- and how our system of education is failing them in giving them what, in our world today, is the basis of formal education and the information age: the ability to read.
Dr Pretorius went on to say that the tipping point is going to be in the classroom. And as early as possible. It sounds like as the brain ages, so it takes a lot more effort to re-wire and develop the much needed connections for the first component of reading to become automatic, which they called 'decoding'. Without this foundation step in place, any of the higher levels of comprehension and response to the information being read, are thwarted.
Her suggestions include making books more accessible, creating the opportunities for children to read, and inspiring them to read. We also need to be building our teachers capacity and parents interest, so that they are knowledgeable about reading and how reading extended texts, such as stories, help to not only rewire the brain to develop the skill, but also becomes a vehicle for transforming minds.
As I thought about publishing this on my blog and on Facebook, I thought too that the entire mechanism of blogging and Facebook is based on our ability to read. How lucky am I, and you who read this, to have a brain that was rewired so many years ago, such that we take it for granted that we can decode and comprehend these symbols. We so often forget that the most powerful learning tool we have, we were not born with. How liberating it is to know that the ability to read is available to anyone who experiences the opportunity to rewire their brain. And with that, can read a bit of text that can lead to "a leap into transcendence" (A. Rich).
So, anyone for a story?
NOTE: I'll be collecting books for the 'Bookshelf Project' run by Chris Dykes, to help create these opportunities and the much needed inspiration for children less fortunate than I was, to rewire their brains, so that they too can one day take their ability to read for granted. If you'd like to get involved, get in touch :)
Inner Coaching on SABC TV
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
After having held the Premiere for the onematchstick Movie on Sunday night, in which I am the main character, I got a call on Monday afternoon asking me if Inner Coaching would be willing to be interviewed on SABC News International the next morning about coaching. Quite a co-incidence that I get to be on TV again. ;)
So on Tuesday I headed off to the SABC studios in Auckland Park. While waiting to be called into the studio, I got talking to Ngila Michael Muendane of Soul Talk, who I found out was being interviewed right after me. He's a fascinating man, in that he is involved is so many personal development programmes, and has a big heart for South Africa.
We got called in, and first stop was for a make up touch up- even Ngila had his turn while I was led through to meet the beautiful news presenter Mapaseka Mokwele.
We had a lovely chat about what coaching is and the benefits of having a coach. I've since read that Mapaseka is an iconic woman, who's been in broadcasting for many years, and part of her career was as the newsreader for Metro FM. She's a voiceover artist too and owner of Bashumi Consulting, a recruitment company. She's living her dream working in entertainment, and particulary broadcasting after giving up her previous career in IT.
After listening to Ngila being interviewed about motivation and finding your purpose, he and I left teh studio and went back into the world to carry on our work.
Thanks SABC News International for the opportunity.
Written by Telana Simpson
The interview is being flighted on 31 December at 1:30 am, SABC 2.
(Photo courtesy of http://www.in.voicespro.com)
Brains follow directions perfectly
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Listening to Echkart Tolle speak about how consciousness is transmitted (click here to see the video clip), reminded me about why I am so selective of what news I listen to and which newspapers I read, if I read them at all.
Consciousness is catchy. And to add to this fact, our brains follow directions.
Think about it this way: if you feed your stomach something harmful, it throws it back up. Your stomach has quality control mechanisms that will literally expel anything that is toxic. Your brain doesn’t though. What ever you "feed" your brain, it just takes it in and follows those directions you (or the media) give it.
Read more about this in my latest Inner Coaching newsletter here.Link
Our values and Life-Balance
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
In Inner Coaching's latest newsletter, the theme was on Balance, and finding balance between work and life. I challenged the traditional view of life balance by sharing Dr Linda Friedland's view that balance is more about going full on for a while, followed by periods of rest and recovery. (read more here)
Balance is also very much related to our values:
Any time you separate space and time you create a mental void. Whatever you perceive as most separated, voided or missing becomes most important to you. You are therefore driven to fulfill these voids. The hierarchy of your values (what is most important to you) determines your destiny; so your destiny is based upon the hierarchy of your voids (the things you perceive most missing).- Dr John Demartini
In the first video, Dr Demartini explains more on our hierarchy of values, and uses relationship as an example of how this works.
In the second video, Dr Demartini talks about how your financial destiny is related to the hierarchy of your values. Using money as an example, Demartini explains how we spend out time and energy in life according to our values.
So when we talk about work-life - balance, we are actually talking about our value system. And if we feel our work-life balance is 'out', as in we don't have balance, it is likely that our we are not living congruently with our values. Every time we try to do something that doesn't match our values, we feel an incongruence and experience feeling out of balance. When our values and our actions are congruent, we experience fulfilment and that can leave us feeling like our life is in balance.Link
The Power of Emotions
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
In my latest newsletter I talk about Trust. Trust is an emotional state, made up of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that translate into actions and experiences.
In this 10 minute long video clip, Greg Braden talks about the power of emotions and the latest research that shows how they affect our world. What we choose to feel changes our chemistry in our body and affects our reality. A pertinent message is that we can use emotions to transform our experience of life.
As a colleague who directed me to this video put it: Emotions are a "cutting edge human technology that is accessible to everyone for personal development. We all have emotions and they are not there to taunt us, but to be a tool (just like the mind) for our growth. The best things in life are free.
"Based on discoveries made through neural mapping of the limbic system, the neurobiological explanation of human emotion is that emotion is a pleasant or unpleasant mental state organized in the limbic system of the mammalian brain. If distinguished from reactive responses of reptiles, emotions would then be mammalian elaborations of general vertebrate arousal patterns, in which neurochemicals (e.g. dopamine, noradrenaline, and serotonin) step-up or step-down the brain's activity level, as visible in body movements, gestures, and postures. In mammals, primates, and human beings, feelings are displayed as emotion cues." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion"
Enjoy the clip:
Telana Simpson is a Professional Personal and Communication Coach. She is a caring and focused facilitator who has a passion for expression. She helps executives, individuals and entrepreneurs find authentic ways of communicating their inner potentials.Telana's profile
About This Blog
This blog is the official blog of Inner Coaching, devoted to actualising people through coaching. Its purpose is to inspire growth and development by sharing ideas, links and resources.
Tel: +27 83 730 2979