I can't or I won't! You decide.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Your choice of language influences your experience of life. The actual words you use when you talk can create a state and a perception of reality that will result in you experiencing life in a certain way. If you don't believe me, then try this little exercise:
Think of something that you would love to have that's on the more expensive side- like a new item of clothing or a holiday. Now notice how you feel when you say to yourself the following 2 statements about that expensive item:
- I can't afford it.
- How can I afford it?
We have a habitual way of thinking and talking that is termed our "modal operator". It reflects our beliefs about the mode in which we operate in the world.
We can operate from a mental mode of laws, where we use language like should, must, and have to. We can also function from the mental world of opportunities, where the words we would use would be possible to, can do, will, may, would, could, or from the mental world of mpossibilities, where the words commonly used would be can't, won't, shouldn't. If we tend to use words like ought to or should we are probably coming from a world view of obligation, whereas the words of want to, dare to, and desire to show a map of empowerment, and the words of choose to, like to, opt to show a world of choice.
Noticing and then adjusting the language you use according to your intention in that moment can have a profound effect on your life.
- When you need to motivate yourself notice what language gets you moving more: "I must do...", or "I can do..." or "I get to do..."
- Is your self discipline enhanced by saying "I cannot...", "I will not...", or "I choose to not..."?
To you languaging yourself for the life you want!
Telana
Labels: fritz perls, modal operators
Linkposted by Telana @ 1:44 pm,
1 Comments:
- At 28/4/08 2:18 pm, Telana said...
-
Understanding your own modal operator style, as well as being able to identify the preferred mode of operating of another person, can be very useful. You’ll be able to change your behaviour and thus your results and experience of life. And by choosing to use words that match another person’s modal operator style, you have more flexibility to motivate and influence them.
If this is a skill you’d like to develop, then consider attending the Communication Excellence course - where modal operators will be just one of the many tools, techniques and understanding of communication skills that you will learn about.
More information on the training can be found by clicking here.
The Author
Telana Simpson
Telana Simpson is a Professional Personal and Communication Coach. She is a caring and focused facilitator who has a passion for expression. She helps executives, individuals and entrepreneurs find authentic ways of communicating their inner potentials.
Telana's profileAbout This Blog
This blog is the official blog of Inner Coaching, devoted to actualising people through coaching. Its purpose is to inspire growth and development by sharing ideas, links and resources.
Contact Us
Tel: +27 83 730 2979
Email: