Well formed Goals- Part 2
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Effective Goal Setting
In our last post, we looked at reasons why goals can be unsuccessful, and covered 2 key points, being defining the goal clearly, and then setting steps with deadlines to reach them.
Other points to make your Goal a very Well Formed Goal are:
Check that it is self initiated and compelling
Take care to set a Goal that you have as much control over as possible. Check that it is something you can initiate and maintain. One way to do this is to focus on goals based on personal performance, rather than on goals based on the outcome only. Outcome goals may fail due to circumstances beyond your control, which will leave you feeling discouraged. Ask yourself, "Is it within my power and ability to reach this Goal?"
Also ensure that what you are setting out to achieve is something you really want to achieve. Sometimes we set out to do what we think we ought to do, or what society or our parents or friends say we should do. You are the one who will be doing all the work, and who will reap most of the benefits! So ask yourself if this Goal is: balanced; for your own good and the good of those around you; and will be achieved in a healthy and fun way.
All these points will ensure that you feel compelled and motivated to work towards your Goal. So give yourself permission to make your Goal sparkle and to have fun achieving it!
Identify resources and remove blocks
Now that you've defined your goal, set a timeline to it, and checked that you really want it, you're at the stage where you want to ensure your success. Setting yourself up for failure is not fun! So look around you and within yourself for resources that will help you not only enjoy the journey of achieving your goal, but also ensure that you make it to your destination!
The kind of resources I am referring to is the skills, the knowledge and the beliefs you already have that support you. Your internal resources are also your states of courage, faith, determination and persistence. Resources can also be people you know, like friends and family, or someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve, and can act as a mentor to you. Books, tapes, the Internet, training programmes- there is a wealth of resources out there just waiting to help you be successful!
Taking a good, honest look at yourself and your past attempts at reaching Goals. You may notice some emotional blocks or limiting frames of mind that sabotaged you. Now would be a good time to take action on working to overcome these blocks. Depending on what is holding you back, just the awareness can shift the block. Or you may need to go through a process to remove those limiting beliefs or frames of mind (such as a specific training or coaching programme).
Also taking into account any obstacles you may have to overcome to reach your goal, and planning ways to conquer them, will ensure that you keep on track when you come across them.
Recognise evidence and ways to celebrate
It is important too to know when you have achieved your goal, or else, how will you know when to exit and move onto the next goal? So think about the evidence that will let you know that you have been successful. What can you measure or observe at each step, and at the final destination, that will show you it’s time to celebrate your success?
Celebrating in some way (like giving yourself a pat on the back or some reward) each small step you take, and again when you finally reach your goal, is an important mechanism to keep you motivated and encouraged. Be your own best cheerleader, and you'll keep going!
Write down the Goal
The difference between a Goal and a Well Formed Goal is that the latter is written in words.
Research shows us that the chance of achieving a goal is dramatically reduced when it is not written down. This is because when you write your goal down, it becomes crystallised, more focused and when you put your pen to paper, you transfer cloudy thoughts into clear, tangible points. In addition writing starts etching your goal into your subconscious and your neurology. You are then giving your subconscious mind and body a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the clearer the final outcome becomes.
Factor in accountability
Create accountability for your journey towards your Well Formed Goal. By human nature, we are not all that good at holding ourselves accountable. Unlike Goals, Well Formed Goal's have an external accountability system that checks in on your progress at each and every step. You might want to ask a friend or colleague to act as a 'teammate' and check on you to follow up, or even find a mentor, coach or goal setting software programme to keep you on track.
There is only one question left, once you have followed all of these points, and that is: "What stops you from moving towards your Well Formed Goal right now?" You may need to check that you are ready, that you have given yourself permission to achieve this Goal, and that you have decided to take this course of action.
Conclusion
So as you observe that it is April already, how would it be if you set aside a few hours to write out your Well Formed Goal? Can you imagine a time and place in your future when this Goal will become real to you? And what if, after you celebrate reaching your Goal, you noticed that the process of setting Well Formed Goals had become your servant, and not your master? What if it became a part of your life? Would it bring you pleasure, satisfaction and a great feeling of achievement?
Wouldn't you say that if you do not already set Well Formed Goals, that now is a great time to start?
To effective Goals!
Telana
Labels: goal, goal setting
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posted by Telana @ 9:47 am,
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Well formed Goals- Part One
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
So why doesn't Goal Setting work for many people?
How many people do you hear saying that goals are a waste of time? Plenty! And that response usually comes from experiences where those people have made goals, and then failed to achieve them.
Some of the main reasons why Goals are unsuccessful are:
- The way we language them. That is, we mostly tend to talk about what we don't want when setting a Goal. We tend to make Goals in response to a negative situation or habit, and talk about moving away from that, like "quit smoking" , "spend less" or "lose weight". Yet it is far easier to move towards what we do want, rather than away from what we don't want.
- We tend to be too vague in our thinking and our expressing of our Goals. We may think to ourselves "I want to earn more". Yet what are we referring to? Would you like to earn more money? More respect? Or more time? And if it is money, for example, how much money? By when? In what way will you earn more money?
- Goals are usually not part of a plan, and have no actions and deadlines attached to them. This usually results in no follow through on achieving our Goals, and that includes not bringing any accountability into the process.
- We may have some self limiting beliefs or frames of mind. If we believe, even subconsciously, that we don't deserve to be successful, or loose weight, or be wealthy, etc, we can block ourselves from our own magnificence. Even a mindset in which we fear failure (or fear success itself) can lead to Goals being ineffective.
How to make them more effective
So if those are some of the reasons why Goals don't usually work, then what steps can we take to set a Goal that will be effective and successful?
Step one: Change the name and define the Goal
Sometimes just by changing a name of something, we can change our attitude and approach to that matter. And so it can be with Goals. Try it out! Try setting a BHAG- a Big Hairy Audacious Goal for 2006! If the phrase "Goal" has a lot of negative connotations to it, and when you think of "goals" you get an uneasy, gloomy feeling in your body from your past goals that failed, then it's time to call them something else. For example, try setting a "Well Formed Outcome" this year.
When you start to think about what you want to achieve, make sure you word it in the positive, that is, something you are moving towards. Be as specific as possible. If you keep coming up with a negative, or an away-from phrase, ask yourself "If that's what I don’t want, then what do I want instead?"
Another point to consider is keeping your Goal in tangible terms. Describe what you want in sensory based terms using what you will see, hear, feel or know, and any behaviours or events that will be part of reaching your Goal.
Identifying the contexts of your desired Goal is also important. Where, when, how and with whom do you want this Goal, and where, when, how and with whom do you not want this Goal? It is a known fact that most successful individuals have a well-outlined direction for their life, and they know what they want when, and where. They also set a number of smaller goals, which take them towards their bigger goals in life. Is your Well formed Outcome going to take you towards where you want to go long term?
Step two: Define stages and steps with deadlines
Once you know what it is you want to achieve, you need to break your Goal into bite-sized chunks. What are the steps or stages involved in reaching this Goal? By making do-able steps clear to yourself, you can make what seems to be an overwhelming goal into an achievable one.
Also, once you've identified the steps, you can then timeline them. This allows you to look at your current schedule, and any future plans you may have, and then make time in your diary to work on your Goal. By setting deadlines to each stage of your Goal, you not only set up a motivation mechanism, you also ensure that your Goal will be achieved in a realistic time frame. Deadlines also have a way of making us commit to our objective, and they can be used to measure how far we have come, and still have to go, towards reaching our Goal.
I'd like to invite you to take a few minutes to apply these first 2 steps to your Goal, and then in our next post, you will be ready to apply some more pointers to your Goal to make it really well formed and easier to achieve.
To you achieving your goals,
Telana
Labels: goal, goal setting
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posted by Telana @ 12:56 am,
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How to Build Self-Esteem (Part Two)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
In our last post (click here for Part 1) we explored what we mean by Self Esteem, and the benefits of developing our sense of self.
As we said, a strong self esteem will leave you with a robust sense of self. This allows you to feel more calm and secure when facing your everyday life.
Difference between Self Esteem and Self Confidence
It's also important to remember the difference between Self Esteem and Self Confidence. Self Esteem is what we are, whereas Self Confidence is what we do. Another distinction is that Self Esteem is a given and remains through out our lives. Self Confidence, though, changes all the time, and usually increases as we grow up, until it starts decreasing again in our old age.
How to Develop Self Esteem*
If you'd like to improve you self confidence, all you need to do is practice that activity the more you do, the more confident you will become at doing it.
With Self Esteem, it's more about a decision, understanding and frame of mind.
- Decide to make your sense of self-esteem unconditional.
- Learn to accept yourself- accept that this is who you are right now. Accept the colour of your eyes, your hair, etc and then move to accepting your attributes etc. Accept yourself.
- Now ask "What can I appreciate about myself?" Appreciate your strengths. Appreciate what you are capable of. Appreciate who you are.
- What can you now highly esteem about yourself? Just like you might find a beautiful sunset awesome – as something you hold in high regard – what can you highly regard within yourself? Feel that same feeling of awesomeness for yourself, for your uniqueness. Learn to esteem yourself.
- Imagine moving through life with the weeks and months to come with this frame of mind... about yourself... Notice how it would transform things for you. Do you like this? Will you remember this?
The more times you can repeat these five steps, the stronger your esteem will become.
To you highly esteeming yourself!
Telana
Labels: self confidence, self esteem
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posted by Telana @ 12:49 am,
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How to Build Self-Esteem (Part One)
What is Self-Esteem?
Are you moving through the world trying to become a somebody? Do you feel defensive and reactive?
Or…
Are you a Somebody expressing yourself in this world? Do you feel open and responsive?
There is a difference, and it has huge implications for how we act and feel in our day to day lives.
In the first instance we seek experience and things in the world in order to feel worthy and valuable, even respected and loved. Our self-esteem is dependant on what happens, and thus we personalize everything that happens to us.
However, when we can realize that we are worthy, valuable, respectable and lovable, we are free to express who we are, and not feel the need to justify our existence.
Self-esteem is about "being" – it’s about who we are rather than what we do. And I don’t know about you, but I never had to full out an application form to join the human race! We are born human beings. And as such we are worthy, valuable.
The way we express ourselves or act may sometimes be a bit clumsy or unwanted. Yet we are still human beings- we are still lovable and respectable – it’s just that behaviour or those words that we said that are not respectable or valuable. There is a clear distinction between human being (self-esteem) and human doing (self-confidence).
Why Develop Self-Esteem?
Would it be valuable to you to have a sense of self which says "I am valuable; I have nothing to prove and everything to experience"? A frame of mind like that frees us to be ourselves and become all we can be. It allows us to see the world as an exciting place to explore and enjoy. It also gives us a sense of choice – we can choose those things that enrich us and allow us to reach for our potentials.
Some of the other benefits of a healthy self-esteem include:
- being open and responsive
- experiencing loving and caring relationships
- enjoying being fallible and accepting of making mistakes
- being vulnerable
- being creative
- feeling free to express and explore our passions
- being able to develop our talents
- being able to contribute more…
To your success!
Telana
Labels: self confidence, self esteem
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posted by Telana @ 12:35 am,
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Defining Coaching
Monday, April 16, 2007
To explain what coaching is, let me start by explaining what is isn’t, and how it differs from the other helping modalities.
Coaching is different to CONSULTING. A consultant is usually an expert in a field and s/he gives ADVICE.
It also differs from MENTORING. A mentor is also an expert who takes another under their wing and GUIDES them from their experience.
TRAINING is about TEACHING someone new skills, and thus it also differs from coaching.
And coaching is not COUNSELLING or therapy. Counseling is based on solving problems, recovering and exploring things from a person’s past. It’s about FIXING problems.
Well, if advice is at the heart of consulting, and mentoring is about guiding, and the centre of training is teaching and of counseling is fixing, then was is coaching about?
At the heart of COACHING is FACILITAITION. It’s facilitating individuals to maximize their existing skills and resources to take their performance to the next level.
Coaching is a one-on-one solution focused, outcome orientated, collaborative partnership where you and your Coach spend time focusing on just you – you and your life and your challenges and your skill levels and your dreams. With this focus on you and your development, you will experience having someone there who believes in you, listens to you, doesn’t judge you, and totally supports you. You will develop holistically in that you work not only with your mind, body, actions, and behaviours, but also with your feelings, beliefs and higher levels of your mind.
The heart of Coaching is about choice. It’s about choices in your life and making those choices.
So how much more interested are you now in finding out more about coaching?
Labels: coaching, consulting, counselling, facilitation, mentoring, training
posted by Telana @ 9:41 am,
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The Author
Telana Simpson
Telana Simpson is a Professional Personal and Communication Coach. She is a caring and focused facilitator who has a passion for expression. She helps executives, individuals and entrepreneurs find authentic ways of communicating their inner potentials.
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This blog is the official blog of Inner Coaching, devoted to actualising people through coaching. Its purpose is to inspire growth and development by sharing ideas, links and resources.
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